Where do I begin?

A million thoughts for a single day.

You know, being an outcast is actually wonderful. I have maladaptive daydreaming. It’s this thing where you have really good daydreaming powers that sort of take over your mind for a period of time. At some point the daydreaming actually feels like it’s real so I pace around an imaginary world (definitely not crazy). I SLAY DRAGONS. I CONQUER CONTINENTS. I TRAVERSE THE PLAINS OF MY IMAGINED WORLD, A WORLD FAR OFF FROM EXISTENCE. A perfect world that exists only in my mind in the small fragment of time.

As a daydream, I walk around listening to music that I love. I imagine myself playing it, standing in front of the orchestra as the “great violinist” I want myself to be. I think about how perfect my intonation would be, how precisely I would hit each note with complete accuracy. I think about how my piece would begin and end. I think about her. If maybe one day she would be there listening as my music cries to her.

Most of the times, this maladaptive daydreaming hinders me from what I should do. Projects takes hours, or sometimes even days to complete. My attention in class wanders off like a lost traveler finding his way back home.

I have no solution for this but to give up to its deep seductive power. Power far off from my wildest imagination. Power beyond my control.

So, as I end, I would like to tell this world that being an outcast is not the worst thing that can happen, but the most beautiful one.

Sometimes I love daydreaming, while other times I do not. I don’t regret the time I wasted from it, but know that imagination is power beyond mankind’s comprehension.

November 21st, 2016. Joshua Lintag


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